Well, friends, I think it’s time for an update. It has been long enough.
Frankly, it was the e-mail update of a fellow Peace Corps volunteer and ranch friend, who made me realize that even though I may not have good news, you all want to know what is going on down here...so here it is...the good and the bad...
As I come down to the last six months of my service, I can’t help but compare my current feelings to those I felt at the end of senior year of highschool and even senior year of college. I look forward to the coming changes, but at the same time dread leaving my friends and habits formed over the past two years behind. The life I have built here will be undeniably hard to leave, and the thought of abandoning so many people who I have come to love and depend upon is a terrifying thought. Of course, there are inevitably many aspects of my Nicaraguan life I look forward to leaving behind (sweeping and mopping daily, hand-washing clothing, cold showers, etc)...How am I managing the giant mood swings which have me ranging between sad and depressed at the thought of going home to suffocated at the idea of spending even one more minute in this country? Well, quite honestly, it’s not going so well.
Suprisingly, my work is going well. Unlike this time last year, I already have all three of my schools’ gardens planted and growing. We have an even wider range of vegetables and the students are really enthusiastic. I feel like I am working relatively well with my teachers, and I think they have learned something from my time here. But, I’m bored. I am ready for my own classroom. Ready to teach the way I want to teach. Rules, routines, games, books (other than textbooks)...As much as I have tried to impart my teaching style on the teachers I work with, there is only so much to be done a few hours each day. It is hard to change a system, and that is what I’m up against.
So what do I do when depression kicks in? Well, I have a few options, and I admit that sometimes faking sick and staying in bed all day wins (sometimes the thought of cleaning my house is enough to keep me watching The Office reruns all day...cleaning here really sucks). My healthier options are thinking about the future. Currently, I am looking for grad schools. I would like to teach in a Bilingual classroom and, therefore, need a masters/certification in Bilingual/Bicultural Education or ESL (English Second Language). The Mercedes Benz of programs is located at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the Peace Corps offers a Fellowship perfectly tailored to the College. Of course, this is all way competitive and quite possibly way out of my league...but it’s good to go big, right? All of this requires lots of essays and time, so it is a good distraction when sadness comes knocking. Equally helpful is simply getting out of town...going to Leon and staying in air condition is a wonder cure. Shocking what a little air, and even a movie, can do for a bad day.
An even better distraction is a good vistor and my most exciting vistor lately was Stephanie Harrison! Winner of most packages and now first friend to come and visit! Thank you! Next up are my parents and cousin Mary, who will be coming for a week, and will be taking me to the Island of Ometepe for the first time...CAN’T WAIT! And shortly following, the lovely Heather Zeman! July will be jam-packed and incredible...I am really so excited.
So as is obvious, I avoid thinking about my short time left here by writing grad school entrace papers and looking forward to visitors (OK and sometimes spending long periods of time watching reruns on my computer). Although my work here has started to lose my interest, I still love my students and the teachers I work with, and need to try and remember to take advantage of every minute I have with them. Please send me lots of updates, and start thinking of things to do when I come home in December!!!
Lots of LOVE to everyone!
